The Essence of Intelligence is in the Ability to Understand Others

I believe the title is a slight paraphrasing of one of my favourite philosophers: Baruch Spinoza. In it's simplicity it contains a wealth of wisdom and can potentially explain a whole host of different aspects to what it means to be an intelligent human being. We know that albeit animals can feel pain and also learn to avoid situations where previously pain has been experienced, animals are not able to imagine another animal's pain. They may sense it and comfort each other, but prior to an event, they are not able to consider the potential pain they might be inflicting and thus abstain from it on the grounds of compassion for their victim.

Ironically, there are some people out there with similar tendencies. Almost like children, they are blissfully unaware of how their behaviour is perceived by others around them and when things happen to them personally, they behave as if nobody ever, anywhere as experienced something similar. This makes them alone in their suffering, but chances are that in exhibiting this behaviour, they have revealed they are not particularly intelligent either.

Understanding others ultimately allows you to see yourself through the eyes of others and learn about communication, perception, sensitivity, politeness, receptiveness, supportiveness, being a good lover, partner, friend, employee, citizen - you name it. These are difficult subjects to explain and sometimes even harder to define, why?, because the definitions in some cases vary from person to person or situation to situation. It is this discrepancy which makes it impossible to read up all the definitions in a book in advance and go about one's life adhering to one rigid set of behaviours, oblivious to the changing needs of the surrounding world.

It is true that in some cases religion and ethics can provide useful guidelines, but without applying some very careful thought of our own to these matters, and above all compassion - which is ultimately what the ability to understand others is all about, our behaviours become hollow and perhaps even judgemental to others. In that scenario religion, regardless of type, becomes an instrument of oppression, judgement, separation - rather than a tool to make the world a better place.

Understanding others means we put ourselves in their situation, try to understand what led them to behaving like they do, being where they are and rather than saying - ah, it's because they are stupid, or poor or whatever - it is a genuine realisation of the difficulty of life and often a realisation of our own fortune. People who wish they were someone else have no idea what that person has gone through and thus no appreciation for their own accomplishments either.

Treat others as you wish to be treated yourself is a timely reminder of the value of compassion and understanding others and the importance of a conscience. Western culture has put an enormous emphasis on understanding ourselves through psychology, self-help and through the continuous emphasis on the importance of material wealth we have began to practically obsess about ourselves, to the detriment of our understanding of others. There doesn't seem to be a place for it - we are too busy looking after number one. What we don't realise is the enormous influence our own behaviour has on the surroundings, the people we meet and the situations we find ourselves in. If we can instead apply a fraction of our mind to trying to understand others, their needs, being compassionate in our approach, mindful in our behaviour we can truly call ourselves intelligent and ultimately also successful.

Comments

[Shahn]

I agree with you 200%.

[wes]

Very well said and right on the money.