I'll make a confession - I like the Simpsons a lot. Not such much because they are yellow and strange looking, but because the humour is great. For that same reason I absolutely adore Futurama, because it appeals to my subversive side and my desire to jibe at society in general. As you may have gathered I have a tendency to over-intellectualise most things and thus, the humour of the Simpsons is a good counter-balance to help me not get too carried away. In fact, there are some great pearls of life wisdom hidden in all those episodes. Below are some of my absolute favourites:
- Ah, beer. The cause of and the solution to all of life's problems.
- Who are you? Why am I here? I want answers now or I want them eventually!
- Because they're stupid, that's why. That's why everybody does everything!
- That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college!
- America's health care system is second only to Japan, Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, well...all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky stars we don't live in Paraguay!
- It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.
- English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England!
- You're saying butt-kisser like it's a bad thing!
- You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel.
- think Mr. Smithers picked me for my motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when I'm around!
- Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie, and one to listen.
- Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand!
- You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'.
- Oh, everything's too damned expensive these days. Like this Bible. It cost 15 bucks! And talk about a preachy book! Everybody's a sinner! Except this guy.
- God bless those pagans.
- Don't let Krusty's death get you down, boy. People die all the time, just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow! Well, good night!
- If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now, quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers!
- I'm a white male, age 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me, no matter how dumb my suggestions are.
- Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything. 14% of people know that.
- You know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like women. You just have to read the manual and press the right button.
- Now what is a wedding? Well, Webster's dictionary describes a wedding as the process of removing weeds from one's garden.
- I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman!
- Shut up, brain, or I'll stab you with a Q-Tip!
Comments