Dyslexicon: Inventing Brand Names

What is it about company names these days? Why do people have to invent random names that tell you absolutely nothing about what the company does and moreover, all sound similar too? Just think of Clari, Claris, Clarins, Clarion, Clarus.. some of you will know what they do, because you will have come into contact with their products - others? Have a guess? It is a disease, a name generator disease which is spearheaded by various brand consultancies, who will charge a fortune for coming up with a eponymous, but completely forgettable word.

The Brand Channel puts things in perspective: "The Post Office’s rebranding follows a long line of stodgy- and storied-sounding British organizations choosing to become less identifiable, including National Power becoming Innogy; British Steel, Corus; and Welsh Water, Hyder. However, the Post Office’s change to Consignia was met with the most outcry for a number of reasons."

To me the Post Office or Royal Mail is synonymous with red post boxes with the royal insignia stamped on the side, red logos and branding of high street presence. Works a treat, as British postboxes are part of the popular imagination, just like proper old British phoneboxes and those Routemaster buses. However, for some reason it was thought appropriate to abandon this very well recognised brand, in favour of something more 'contemporary', hopefully signalling a drastic turnaround for the company, which had been losing money for years and in many cases referred to as 'totally up the spout'.

Going into the word 'Consignia' a little bit - the word consign means:

• commit forever; commit irrevocably 
• give over to another for care or safekeeping; "consign your baggage" 
• send to an address 

All being fine and dandy, those are reasonable things to expect from Royal Mail or the Post Office. Consign, however, is often used in the context of 'consign to oblivion', which to me is not a good association to make with a company you are paying money to deliver precious items. Moreover, when turning 'Consign' into a noun, mysteriously this word instantly becomes very transitory. 'Consignia' makes you think of... well, nothing much to do with sending a letter.

As Brand Channel continues:" Sometimes a branding overhaul is necessary, even after a long and estimable history (The Post Office was founded in 1635 by Charles the I) – the Communist Party and New Kids on the Block come to mind, as does, for separate reasons, Andersen. And, several of the reasons Consignia gives for its change do strike with some validity.

 

To begin with, as the group looks to expand internationally, Post Office proves to be too vague. A Consignia website dedicated to answering questions about the name change defends: “The Post Office name would be confusing abroad and would also be difficult to protect.” Further, “The Post Office group did not fully describe what we do as a business.” And they’re right, as Consignia also banks, retails and tailors logistic solutions. However, the site adds a defensive: “The name was received extremely well in customer research.”

Royal Mail, a pre-Consignia proposed possibility and seemingly what Consignia has become, may not play well in certain former colonies or in nations where not-so-benevolent local royals were violently separated from both throne and head."

Hmm.. all good points, but why not go for something post related in your name - United Parcel Service (UPS) deliver .. parcels, no beating around the bush here, but finding out what DHL stands for takes a little bit more work: DHL is an acronym of its founders Dalsey, Hillblom and Lynn and as this is less common knowledge, it seems that annoyed customers often substitute the letters for 'Dumped, Hidden or Lost'.

"Come to think of it, maybe you've got Consignia" said Dr. Smith to his ailing patient. Sounds more like a malaise than a company name or as job cuts have continued at a break-neck speed "Resign-ia" has also been proposed as a new name by a number of disgruntled formed employees. Needless to say, this remarkable feat of pointless re-branding was ditched in 2002.

Going back to pointless brand names - this is but one sad example of a much wider problem - the rise of so-called 'brand strategists' and accompanying consultancies, who pride themselves in making companies alien and virtually unrecognisable to a base of loyal customers.

This link leads onto a website where you can find the Dislexicon v3.0, a nifty 'English expansion tool', that invents non-existing words based on a root word you submit. These consultancies must have this program listed in their Favourites - just look at the words below generated from the root word 'logic"!

	New Word	Components	Definition
1:	logicish	logic-ish	of, relating to, or being logic
2:	logicible	logic-ible	capable or worthy of logic
3:	overlogic	over-logic	excessive logic
4:	kilologicologist	kilo-logic-ologist	one who studies thousand logic
5:	superlogicary	super-logic-ary	of or relating to above or superior to logic
6:	logicmetric	logic-metric	relating to measurement of logic
7:	erythrologic	erythro-logic	red logic
8:	chromologicish	chromo-logic-ish	of, relating to, or being color logic
9:	antelogicism	ante-logic-ism	action, process or practice of before logic
10:	logicist	logic-ist	one that performs, produces or believes in logic

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